Reflection: Judgment, Others VS Self

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The Flame

We judge ourselves by what

we feel capable of doing,

while others judge us by

what we have already done.

—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,

Kavangh, 1849

Quotes are the phrases that some random person will say it to you that change your life. Once spoken, there’s a click in the mind that ignites a flame of change. It burns as bright as you allow it. It can ignite a fire large enough to turn itself to ash or it can dim out to nothing. When that flame ignites, keep a level head. Look forward and move towards the dream. You can look back as long as you don’t get caught up in that past. Stay in the present working towards the future. Let the past be a reminder of once was but never will be if you keep working.

The Others

We live in a world based on other’s opinions of us. Social media has disrupted the flow of human interaction. Many people base themselves around their social media. It’s a new kind of crowd sourcing where we must speak to the world in any of these platforms to show the world how awesome we are! When in reality, we all go through the same rounds of emotions. The struggles of life are inevitable. Then we look for validation and support from others.

There’s people taking selfies in areas where they should be focusing in the moment. They are more concerned on showing the world what they’re experiencing than fully immersing themselves in what they’re doing.

This is not to say that all usage of social media is bad. I’m leaning  more towards over-consumption and overuse of social media stimulates unhealthy actions and thoughts. Having grown up in this digital age and working in IT now, it’s easy to see how technology has taken over. What once was a tool has now become a lifestyle. If we don’t tell the world, how will anyone ever know? We need to preserve every single memory.

As mentioned before, others judge us by what we have done. We want to show that we have done great. That we have done great and are continuing to live a fulfilled life. Many crave positive judgement from others and any negativity is lashed back with negativity. When we make mistakes, we’ll tell the world through our perspective and find validation from friends and family to validate what we did is right. No need to change it, we didn’t do anything wrong! But we did. That’s where we need to rearrange our thoughts.

The Self

What are you capable of doing? What do you do when no one is watching. When the social media is turned off and the phone is silenced, what is being done in your life to make it better? Ever since I began this change 5 months ago, I challenged myself each day to these and many more questions.

You see, I used to judge my self heavily through others. I got to a point where EACH LIKE on any of my social media made me EXTREMELY happy. That was wrong. I felt sad whenever a post/image didn’t get more than 75+ likes. It was bad. Overtime my girlfriend noticed and snapped me out of this cycle. The cycle of feeling empty and seeking validation from others. That the world owed me.

I began a new change. It had to find a method to stop my bad habits and begin new ones. I had to give back to the world that I owed for giving me life. Where do I start? I started by making sure to have non zero days.

The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt’ do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you’re in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that’s what you’re used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn’t happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That’s rule number one. Do not forget.

—/u/ryans01

If a day was not great, I make sure I did at least one productive thing towards my overall goal. I have created the string of consistent non zeros to get to this point. It started small like making my bed, doing some pushups, and cooking some food. It exploded to going to the gym, reading books, and making the effort to learn new skills online. All of it lead me to my current journey, Automattic.

Ever since the discovery of Automattic a few weeks ago, I have learned more about WordPress than I ever thought I would. I go to bed each night with a sense of accomplishment. A knowledge that is farther than it was this morning. Helping on the forums gives me complete satisfaction, especially when a situation someone once had is resolved. It’s like customer service through the Internet, my two favorite things! When I was a kid, I used to join a lot of forums online ranging from anime to coding to photoshopping. I enjoyed learning from others. I then gave it back to those who were new. I realized that I always enjoyed helping others but felt much more safe doing it behind a computer since I can rationalize my thoughts better before speaking it out. I believe that when I get to be a Happiness Engineer, I’ll fill the role with great pride. I’ll return my thanks to the company by living up to their culture and values each day. Why? I know my value now and that a company like Automattic is where it would thrive best. Watch me.

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